HOW PATIENT CAN YOU BE?

Good morning everyone! I hope this crisp fall morning finds you well. Betcha didn't expect me back, huh? As my dear friend Cindy told me... It's been a great week!! Made it through without needing bail money or having any of those messy "hide the body" episodes... LOL. True I have been MIA but I wanted to come on here and thank everyone for the kind emails and comments and to let you know what's been going on. Yes, I'm choosing to air dirty laundry, vent, spill the beans... whatever you want to call it LOL! I am getting a divorce, got health issues, money woas, and lots more! But I want you to know that whatever you are going through, you CAN get through it... let my story serve as your proof. That's the reason I am sharing all my personal stuff with you now!

6-4-10: The young man I let move into my house and treated like a son decided that drugs, booze, and girls were more important than a loving safe home and a "family" who would help him get a good education and a better life. His attitude and actions became intolerable. Then he cowardly moved out the day I took my mom to the casino without even saying goodbye. I felt very used and "abused" both myself and for my family. My Best Friend Vicki (who is more like my sister) saw him in the store the other day and my "nephew" Josh kept asking why he wasn't at Aunt Nay's house, etc. He fessed up that leaving was the biggest mistake he ever made. GEE, YA THINK? Oh well... young, dumb, and full of... um STUPIDITY LOL!

My brother also breaks off relations with the young lady he was seeing and the baby I was watching quite frequently is no longer in my life now. I got attached yes, but didn't cry. I just hope she realizes how special he is...

8-25-10: Separated from husband... we've been having alot of problems for the past couple of years actually. I decided to "kill" the old me and change my life. Went through my boo-hoo's and why me's and then finally said OK, Bring it on! I am quite proud of myself for not trying to get him to come back home... standing my ground! After what all he did to me over the course of our marriage (I admit I enabled him quite a bit), I realized I could not hold on to the good to get through the bad because things had changed and been damaged too much. It would never be the same. So I used the last way I knew how to show him I love him... I let him go!



Time to work on me and my kids!

9-8-10: Went to the doctor. Got my release and rehab "instructions". SUPPOSED to be exercising 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week. Appointments every week for 6 weeks of what I think feels like "Fat camp". Goal is to lose weight put on by meds and bone disease, steriod meds, shots, and other health issues. Doc also wants to re-evaluate at 6 wks and see if we can lose the BP meds. Personal Weight goal is to lose 100 pounds by my birthday next year (Sept. 7, 2011). Left the doctor and the next day, started... ended up exercising for 3 hours cause it felt so dang good!

** Aside from the exercising, I am implementing alot of other changes. I have already quit smoking (May 27, 2009) and only have the social drinks (except right after kicking out husband LOL). I am not using any salt other than to cook with, I hardly eat sweets unless my blood sugars go too low, I won't eat hardly any red meat, increase my veggies and raw salads (didn't think it was possible as I LOVE fruits and veggies already LOL but I did it), and increasing my water intake (just to name a few LOL). **

9-16-10: First doctor visit. Got lectured a bit... but its ok. I lost 9 pounds, my BP was 171/102 and my pulse was 99. Doc said the first 5-7 pounds of that was probably water weight and I said THAT'S OK! It took 2-4 pounds of its fatty friend with it! LOL! She warned me to be careful and she wanted a goal of like 2 pounds a week... I cock an eyebrow and think "Uh yea ok" LOL.

STATS: -9 pounds, BP- 171/102, P- 99

** Am loving doing 2-3 hours a day of kickboxing! Met with an atty and he is going to do the divorce for me, so that paperwork has been filed! Hopefully I can be saying my thanks over my Thanksgiving turkey saying "Thank you for this divorce and pass the gravy!"**

9-23-10: Second visit to hell-o LOL! Doc starts really fussin' cuz I drop another 4.5 pounds! WOOHOO! I am excited, she's not so much. She asked if I was doing the 30/3's and I had to fess up that no, I'm doing 120-180/5's LOL! She started fussin that she thinks I am over-doing it and doesn't want me adding too much stress to the heart or problemed bones. I say :P LOL! She asked me if I was eating, etc. Fuss Fuss Fuss... gonna do what I want to do so hush LOL!

STATS: -4.5 pounds, BP- 147/93, P- 96

** Am finding that since working out, I have more energy and when I listen to music, I just wanna move LOL so I end up dancing my butt off for another hour or so some nights LMAO! **

9-30-10: What a wonderful way to end September! In fat camp! Ok, doc's getting P-turbed with me now LOL and has the nerve to ask me if A. I'm actually eating, and B. am I taking any kind of drugs because I am losing the weight too fast. I was like seriously offended and the b*tchy side comes out and tells her NO and go ahead and test me if ya want! I stressed to her that when you're doing more than the 30/3's, you're more likely gonna lose it faster DUH! Plus the dancing... but I know my body and I know when to stop or slow down. I feel great about myself and I can actually look in the mirror now and not be so disgusted! After going a couple of rounds (more like an hour or so LOL), all she could really say was "well just be careful PLEASE" LOL! Renee 1, Doc-0! Think I might need to dance and celebrate tonight! LOL

STATS: -6 pounds, BP- 135/94, P- 101

TOTAL LOSS FOR SEPTEMBER: 19.5 lbs.
REMAINING GOAL LOSS: 80.5 lbs.
REMAINING TIME: 11 MONTHS

10-7-10: Today really sucked! I felt a sort of dread yesterday and didn't want to go to the dr. today. Couldn't put my finger on why. But I had an overactive brain yesterday and today, so I had tons of things running through my head. So I grabbed an extra hour almost of kickboxing. Well I had found a picture of my STBX (Soon To Be Ex) in my son's room that I had removed and forgot to put away... still in a frame of course. Got very angry again and OOOPS!



There went some more glass. Got a few cuts on my hand, but it's ok... nothing too deep (Note to audience- do NOT box with pics of STBX around LOL... the adrenaline gets going and soon you think the pic is their face and there ya go! LOL). I woke up today with a really low feeling in my gut, but I went to the doctor anyway. Well she couldn't gripe at me too bad, cuz my numbers were "much safer" to her but very disappointing to me. I have some swelling in my legs for some reason, but other than that she is pleased with my visit. She says I have slimmed but apparently am building up more muscle mass. NOOOOO! I am so upset that I have been working so hard and this is what I end up with... uh no. Think I need to step it up some or change it somehow! We'll see what next week brings!

STATS: -0.5 pounds, BP- 130/92, P-104



So that in a nutshell is what I have been up to with myself. Of course October started DD's Marching Band season in full swing. (LOL Like the pic? Late night football marching followed by early next day marching = Sunday morning Marching Lag! LOL) The competition last weekend was great! They got lots of good pictures of her. We have comp's every weekend this month... plus football, etc. Busy... Busy... Busy. I finally did some more painting in the kitchen- just have 2 cabinet doors on the bottom and then applying the lemons and that project is done. Because of everything going on, the fabric challenge and the Christmas Challenge came to a screeching halt. Christmas will be rough this year because of finances, but also that Frank & I were married December 23rd... so yea... I would say I see some "special" eggnog this year, but I hate eggnog YUCK! LOL!



My little bunny Rescue I got at the flea market passed away. Mom thinks she may have been bred diseased but says I gave her a very good life. I got a new rabbit though... rescued him too in a way. He is a 3 yr old black rabbit named Midnight and he is fixed! YAY! LOL... also my landlord got stupid and said I had too many cats and that some had to go. SOOOO Miracle and Gizmo are now living out at my mom's house. I still have to get rid of 1 more (2 if he learns about the baby in Madison's room). He "graciously" said the bunny can stay since it's in a cage. Gee thanks dillhole! And then DD's friend needs to place 2 gerbils and they decided they should come here. UM NO! Anyone want 2 gerbils and all the goodies? LOL.



We had my little brother's birthday lunch a couple of weeks ago too... wow I feel so old, but I love my family so much! We had a great time, great food, and I even managed to get him to give me a great picture... one he is not shooting the finger in! WOW! LOL Love ya Michael! My other brother Mark is currently in TDCJ (Texas Department of Criminal Justice) boot camp to start a new career as a Correctional Officer. We were discussing this as a possibility for me too. But I won't even consider applying until I lose at least 50 more pounds! Its just a thought right now... a vague thought. But my brother's doing great and I think this is gonna be a good thing for him! Way to go Mark!

As you can see, lots of things going on right now in my life. When I started this blog it was as a wife, mother, and basically a "June Cleaver" Kinda person. However I'm NOT that person anymore. I am still a mom and I love cooking, sewing, etc. and if you want to still hang around, I will continue to be here... maybe not so much right now (definitely not every day right now) til my life settles into a normal chaos. I will still do crafts, cooking, etc... if you'll have me- the NEW me?

Well I'm outta here. Time for "The Oldies Sweating To Hate Music" LOL! (No offense to anyone- especially the makers of "Sweatin to the Oldies" LMAO!) I want to hear your thoughts and comments, etc... so until next time... HUGS!!!!!!